If President Bush can go to war on a Concept instead of a Country, then from this day forth, I am declaring War on Parenthood, Life, and everything in between.
Quick background on the humble "me" to get started...
I'm 27. I have 2 boys-3 1/2 and 1 1/2. My oldest has Mild Autism. I am not ashamed of it, nor do I think I shouldn't tell people that he has it, despite what my parents think. I have depression, insomnia, and probably a few other things I don't even know. I am vegetarian, and embracing more and more vegan foods. This pisses my family off. To no end. Now that I think about it, a lot of things do.
I used to be quite a crap individual. I had mental issues that were not being addressed in the best way. Therapy and medications later, I am married and have been for 3 years, with 2 boys and a wonderful husband that actually puts up with me. Let's be honest...I don't even think I could be married to me....I said all that to say this: "I don't think my parents have ever forgiven me for being not in the right state of mind. I was lost, sad, and needed help. I got it. I"m here. I'm happy. I have a twisted sense of humor still. I will not judge and I love my kids tremendously. Apparently all that doesn't really mean too much to my family and their judgmental friends. If you haven't lived it, you can't judge it.
Parenting is hard. All these "Supermoms" that take their kids to tumbling, swim lessons, parks, playdates and keep their house spotless, all while never missing naptime and feeding them a Vegan Organic diet can suck my nuts. My raw, organic, unsalted nuts. Period.
It's hard to get up in the morning sometimes. It's hard to start your day off by cleaning poop. It's hard to think that the only time I can pee by myself is when my husband gets home to help with the boys. And I wish moms and others could be more supportive of that fact.
It is especially hard to find someone that doesn't think my son's Autism is contagious. And understands that his obsession with numbers and lightswitches, and the resulting tantrums from not being able to hold the price tag signs with the numbers at the store, and to flip every lightswitch on and off ten times in Walmart is not that my son being a brat. I've never had so many side-eyes in my life. No idea that what makes cross-dressing obese people on scooters in walmart think they have the right to judge anyone....but that is for another day...
So I am here to say all the things we all WISH we could say...I have every right to say what is on my mind, my hopes, dreams, fears, emotions, issues. And I hope that people can relate. And if all it does is make you angry then I will pray for you. And politely tell you to press Alt+F4.
6 comments:
I hear you on the "Wow, it's incredibly hard to be a stay-at-home mom". It doesn't mean you don't love your kids. It's just VERY challenging to have to sacrifice your own needs and wants just about every second of the day and then feel like no one appreciates what you're doing. I take a lot of comfort in realizing that God knows and appreciates what I do every day even if other people may not see it. Courage Momma, courage.
I know how you feel, my brother is autistic and its still hard for us and our family. And hes 21 now. I also hear you on the parents being a pain. Since this is private, I can say more, my parents arent there for us that much. They dont ever call and say, hey can we watch TJ EVER! They dont want to talk to us unless we owe them money then they hound us about it (well my mom does, my dad doesnt stand up for himself, so she rules the house) It just pisses me off that my mother in law is soooo awesome and will take TJ whenever we need/want her too, and my parents do like 1 time a year. its sicking to think how come someone wouldnt want to watch there own and only grandson for even a night or a few nights. ugh, im with you on alot of your frusterations too, im here to talk/chat if you want! its your life and live it how you want too. i have learned this, but too slowly, if we fall on our faces, oh well, we will get up and learn from our mistakes. God is looking over us and everything happens for a reason. <3
exactly shauna! whenever they do offer to help me with something, there seems there is always strings attached, whether they mean it that way or not. and they just don't give up until you give in about something. i wish i could help you! but it's nice to know someone else kind of understands too, thanks everyone for the support!
Thanks for the comment Kerrie. I couldn't imagine how hard it must be to deal with a child with autism. Then again whose to say Mikhail don't have it. I deal with Nick with ADHD so I know a little about how you feel. I don't knwo what else to write. I'll write more when more entries com up. Can't wait to read the new blog!
Post a Comment